Her Mother played with the drink in her hands, "I sc.r.a.ped for food . I did whatever I could to survive; I didn't go outside since the doors were locked and I didn't know how to unlock them . Even if I did, I had no money, and I knew I would need it to buy food . So I just ate whatever I could find, any scarp . But then winter came by; there was no heating . I lasted about a month during winter when the adults found me I had a very high fever and was on the verge of dying . What saved me was my Father; he found out about my existence . They took me to my aunt's home . Then one day, my Father appeared before me .
A father, I could remember feeling overwhelmed . Suddenly my life had done a complete 360 and the things I were satisfied with, like that small house, torn clothes and rare conversations with my Mother - it felt embarra.s.sing . How could I have been content with such a life? I swore then and there that these people couldn't hate me . I was afraid they'd send me away to that place again, " her Mother trails off, "After I learned of such warmth . I didn't want to lose it . I quickly learned the ways of the world, at least the rules of the household . If you were too obedient, then people would be worried about you . They'd think you were a lifeless child with problems . But if you were too good at everything, envious people would appear and scheme against you . "
"But that's," Kasumi didn't finish her sentence, 'That's wrong,' the wrong mindset . Did those people truly treasure Mother? No matter what she did,
Mother nodded, "Right, it leads to issues because I got a grasp on the situation quickly that I understood . What sort of place that house was . It acc.u.mulated so many men who weren't relatives, and as I grew up, I understood why . A yakuza household . After realizing that fact bit by bit, the actions of those people whom I had grown to know as a family finally became clear . Why they trained me in all forms of martial arts . When my aunt died, my Father snapped . He was always busy and didn't have time for me . Later on, I would hear stories of how her Father loved my aunt, and it was never my Mother . That the two were on the verge of getting married when my Mother drugged Father to have s.e.x with him . Ah, so this is why . I get that look from the guys who would arrive with messages . Because I was an unwanted child . "
Unwanted child, Ah, brother the two them have been so stupid . The pain he experienced is nothing like mothers at all, and the pain she's been going through too . In contrast to there's, it really is nothing . In comparison to this person before her, what she's suffered is only 1% .
Even the bullying she experienced in France doesn't count for a small percentage of Mother's pain, and yet her Mother became a top idol . She became somebody who is adored by so many people . Most people with such a dark childhood would grow up traumatized . But here is her Mother, she remains strong and beautiful despite the pain it brought her .
"What I thought was warmth wasn't . That was the second time I was mistaken . After that well, I became a distant and cold-hearted child . From then onwards I couldn't understand it — that kind of love someone where because you love someone . You will cherish them . No matter how much time went by that fear never disappeared . From the start, I never had any qualification of liking others; and although I had pinned after your Father for the longest time .
I knew that it was never anything serious . Ran-chan too noticed, and that's why he allowed me . When they introduced me to the Toudou family, I understood it already, ' something terrible will happen and so . . . when that happens, take care of her . ' I remembered thinking, how boring . Even you've been ignoring me since aunt died, you're suddenly acting like a caring father .
Three years pa.s.sed by quickly, 3rd-year middle school . At the very least, I should graduate and become somebody prominent in the entertainment industry . Although I had a modeling contract, it wasn't official until I graduated . I tried hard to pretend to be earnest . ' Girls, if they want to be cute, will become stronger . ' . . . . when I first met Suchan in middle school I was certainly surprised . Because I knew who the girl was . The legendary demon princess . What a clumsy girl . But I remembered thinking that her thought process is like mine .
I noticed it right away, although I said she was clumsy it's far more than just a little . At a level that's an endangerment to her life . But even if she can't do things well, she would never give up and continued to move forward . Bit by bit, they were all drawn to her . To be true to yourself, to trust the surrounding people a little more . Those sorts of pure feelings it was because of Suchan . The reason why I took the risk regarding love once again . Why I decided to accept others . "
Kasumi said nothing, this whole time, she didn't say a word and just patiently listened to her Mother . But all sorts of things were appearing in her head .
Ah, she gets it now . It made sense now, all the things she was confused about previously, all of it . . The tears since that day and the reason why her Mother avoided Lila's Mother despite her return . She felt betrayed, that one person who had been her lifeline, the person she gave everything for . . . . . . . . . disappeared and left . Mother didn't want to face Lila's Mother because she didn't want to admit that the warmth that was closest to her was not brought back by her .
No matter how much Mother persisted over the years, eventually she stopped searching and became lifeless . Feelings of guilt and frustration, ' I should have noticed . I was the one closest to her other than Terashima . What's wrong with me, Ran-chan . . . . ? Am I still unable to . . . '
After listening this whole time, it felt like her voice didn't work, and she struggled to form sentences . But she softly called out, "Mother," and took a deep breath, "Thank you for telling me this . "
Mother smiled and nodded, "Your best friend is a fantastic person . She's Suchan and Yuhi-kun's daughter, but she's so much stronger than the two of them . Or maybe we were all far too fragile . Watching your generation, I can see a strength that we never had . Despite all the pain your all feeling, your still able to stand without conviction to the very end, "she trails off, "I came here because I wanted to see it — the new generations seriousness . There can only be one Victor, you'll be cut down in half in a few days, and even then, I'm sure you'll all be just fine . You all glow so brightly, so dazzling, just like her . "
"I don't think your weak Mother . Sure, you're a crybaby . But you've always been the person I looked up to . You've always been my inspiration, or rather I won't let you say things like that," Kasumi harshly interjected . It annoyed her whenever Lila put herself down, let alone her own Mother .
Mother appeared surprised, this apparently wasn't the reaction she was going for, "But you've heard -- "
Kasumi nodded and sighed, "But in the first place, what is love anyway? Is it really something we can define? How do we know if what were feeling is love? We probably will never know the truth . Nor can we comprehend the different forms of love . But what I can tell you is Mother, love has always been around you from the very start and even now, " even though she heard all that . Something seemed off about that story, Mother was telling the truth, and it sounded horrible, yes .
But . . . if her grandma really disliked Mother, wouldn't she . . . have left her along time ago? Or even abort her? There was no need for her to keep the child around .
Her Mother didn't reply right away, and Kasumi was worried she was too blunt . But then faintly her Mother said, "Your conviction is really strong . "
"Gah, words won't get through to you, huh? Alright, have it your way . Just watch my stage," Kasumi exclaimed standing up and marching off . It's not as though she expected it to be that easy . But she really can't stand seeing that expression on her mothers face anymore . There's no need for Mother to look so sad, Mother . Sumire-san . is back, and she's really trying .
Her stage may just be the opening act, and her present worries won't be resolved until everything is sorted with that person . But . . . even then, Kasumi wants to show her Mother, that its thanks to her that she's able to shine .